


So Soon

by leeanndarling



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self Harm, Thoughts of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 05:31:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeanndarling/pseuds/leeanndarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off So Soon by Marianas Trench<br/>Louis leaves Harry and Harry doesn't know if he can handle that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Soon

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Mentions of self harm and thoughts of suicide. Don’t read if that’s a trigger for you. And if you need to talk, I’m here for you :)  
> I hope you like it? I wrote this a while ago and posted it on Tumblr.... Enjoy!

_You say, sometimes, it’s like I hardly know you_

“Louis, you can’t just leave me!” Harry pleads.

“This isn’t working out anymore, Harry,” Louis states simply. “I’m sorry.”

“Then let’s make this work!”

Louis loses the control he has, breaking out in a sob. “We can’t, Harry! It’s over! I feel like I barely know you anymore. You’ve changed and don’t you dare try to say you haven’t.”

“And you haven’t?” Harry hisses. “You’ve changed just as much as I have!”

“We’re over,” Louis says sternly. “Goodbye.”

Ignoring Harry’s protests, Louis leaves and doesn’t look back. He doesn’t even make it to his car before he collapses in tears.

_I’ll shake his hand, and smile, and say I understand, while I do, that don’t mean I don’t think about you_

“So, Louis, I hear you have a new relationship blooming.”

A picture pops up on the screen, one Harry has never seen before.

“Yeah,” Louis speaks. “That’s my boyfriend Jake. We’ve been going out for about 2 weeks now.”

Harry’s head snaps up at that. Two weeks? Two weeks? That’s impossible. They’ve only been broken up for 3 weeks. There’s no way Louis would move on that fast… Is there?

_But, I don’t want to see you happier with somebody else. Oh, why can’t you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_

“Harry, you can’t dwell,” Liam insists. “It’s not helping anything. It’s hurting the band.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “I can dwell if I want to,” he pouts. “I’m hurting, too.” He bites his lip to keep from crying.

“Hey,” Liam mumbles, “you know we’re here for you.” He starts rubbing Harry’s back soothingly as tears fall. “If you need to talk about anything, we’re here.”

“Thanks.”

_I know you need someone too. This just feels so soon._

The first time it happens is after Harry sees Louis kiss Jake. He’s not thinking properly. He was holding the knife in his hand, about to put it in the drawer when the thought ran through his mind. He quickly swipes it across his wrist and hisses in pain. He does it again. And again. And again.

A quiet voice startles him, making him drop the knife. “Harry, Liam was wondering-“ Louis stops talking when he sees the scene before him. “Harry, what the hell are you doing?!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry snaps, voice breaking.

_I know some things should just stay broken. I’m well aware this should remain unspoken._

The second time it happens, Louis catches him again.

“Harry, we need to talk-“

“We don’t need to do anything!” Harry yells, dropping the blade into the sink. “You need to go back to your boyfriend.” Venom laces the younger boy’s voice.

“Harry, whether we’re dating or not, I care about you!” Louis fought to keep tears back. “Harry, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Why do you keeping doing this to yourself?”

“Because it hurts, Louis!” Harry exclaims, the truth finally coming out. “It fucking hurts to watch you with him. It hurts to watch you two kiss. It hurts to know that I used to be the one you loved, I was the one you wanted to kiss and hug and touch. And most of all, it fucking hurts knowing you moved on after a week!”

“Used to be the one I loved?” Louis asks. “Used to be? Harry, nobody said I stopped loving you!”

“You obviously wouldn’t be hurting me like this if you still loved me.”

Louis wipes his cheeks furiously. “I didn’t know you were hurting this bad, Haz, I-“

“Don’t call me that,” Harry says through clenched teeth. “I should’ve never said anything. Now I’m going to be getting your pity. I don’t want it.”

Harry slams the bathroom door in Louis’s face, ignoring the shouts and locking the door.

He slides down to the floor and buries his face in his hands. _Stupid,_ he thinks. _You’re so stupid! Why did you tell Louis that? Why?!_ Harry sobs loudly, not caring who heard.

There was a quiet knock on the door. “Harry? It’s Liam. Can I come in?”

Harry nods before remembering Liam couldn’t see him. He unlocks the door and opens it a little.

Liam doesn’t say a word. He just sits beside Harry, pulling him into the protection of his arms. He lets Harry cry as long as he needs to. Silently, Harry puts his arm out and shows Liam the most recent cuts. Liam’s only reaction was a small gasp as he pulls Harry closer to him, pressing a kiss on his temple.

_And maybe I’m too proud to say I missed ya, but what if here and now, I tell you that I’m all figured out?_

“I don’t miss him anymore, Liam,” Harry insists. “It’s been 3 months. I’ve moved on. He’s happy with Jake. He loves Jake, not me.”

Harry’s voice wavers and cracks. Liam refuses to believe him.

“Harry, we’re not stupid,” Liam retorts. “We know you miss him and there’s nothing wrong with that. You were together for 2 years. That kind of breakup takes a while to get over.”

“Do you think he cheated on me?” Harry whispers, voice full of pain. “Is that why they got together so fast after our breakup?”

“I don’t think Lou would do that,” Liam mutters. “I just think he needed a rebound. He just needs someone there by his side.”

“But I could be that someone,” Harry says desperately. “I could be the one by his side. We were perfect for each other. We-“ Harry’s voice cuts off with a squeak.

Louis walks in, laughing loudly and holding hands with Jake, completely oblivious to Harry’s red, tear-stained cheeks.

“I have to go, babe,” Jake announces loudly. “Call you later?”

“Definitely,” Louis giggles. He goes up on his toes to press his lips to Jake’s. “Bye sweetie.”

Louis shut the door and turns around, stopping when he sees Harry and Liam on the couch.

“Harry, are you-“

“I’m fine,” Harry snaps. He runs to the bathroom before anybody could stop him.

_Sometimes it’s not so easy to wish you well and let you go_

Performance after performance, interview after interview. Same questions.

“Louis, how’s your relationship with Jake?”

“Harry, how do you feel about this?”

“Are you and Louis still friends?”

“We’re still best friends,” Harry says as he plasters a fake smile on his face. “Nothing’s changed between us. We’re still the same Harry and Louis.”

And it kills him to say it because he knows it isn’t true. He knows he’s lying to the world, and the fans know it, too. They start to notice the cuts on Harry’s wrists, which seem to keep growing in number. They notice the tension between the former lovers. They notice the longing in Harry’s eyes when he looks at Louis, the pain when he sees Louis with Jake. They notice everything.

They notice he’s slowly breaking.

_I don’t want to see you happier with somebody else_

Louis’s talking to Harry, trying to get him to stop cutting himself, trying to understand everything. And that’s when Harry snaps.

“I can’t do this anymore!” he screams. “I just can’t!”

“What are you talking about, Harry? Please,” Louis begs calmly, “talk to me.”

“I can’t as long as you’re with him!” Harry admits. “I can’t even stand to fucking look at you because of him! Every time I do, I see him kissing you, or holding your hand, or doing all the things that I should be doing!”

“Harry, I’ve been trying to explain-“

“I don’t want to hear your explanation, Louis!” Harry bellows. “I just want to be able to wake up and this all be a dream! I-I just want to go back to being us.” Harry’s voice was barely audible. “I want to be yours again.”

Louis reaches out to grab Harry, but he flinches and runs to the bathroom. He grabs the razor blade and prepares to press it far enough in his wrist to bleed to death. He knew what it would take. It wasn’t the first time these thoughts have run through his head.

“Harry!” Louis grabs the razor from the younger boy’s hands before he does anything. He grabs Harry’s shoulders and shakes him. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Harry mumbles. “I just want everything to be over. I just want to disappear.”

“I won’t let you,” Louis says determinedly. “I won’t let you leave. I’ll never let you leave me.”

“But Jake-“

“I broke up with Jake!”

Harry’s jaw drops. “Wha-What?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Haz,” Louis says. “I’ve been trying to tell you that I was wrong. I was horribly wrong and stupid. I was a dick, Harry. I should’ve never left you. The only reason I did was because… Because I was scared you were going to leave me first.”

Louis looks down then, silent tears falling down his face. Harry wipes them away before speaking.

“I would never leave you,” he murmurs. “I love you too much.”

“But how can you still love me after what I did to you?” Louis cries. “I was horrible and you deserve so much better than me.”

This time, Harry is the one to grab Louis’s shoulders. “Look at me.” Harry pauses till Louis obeys. “Nothing could ever make me not love you. If anything, I don’t deserve you, Louis.”

“That’s not true.”

“I could say the same to you.”

They stare at each other for a while, completely silent. Harry makes the first move, closing his eyes and leaning in. Louis eagerly grabs the back of Harry’s neck, pulling him in to a kiss. They both sigh with relief at the feeling of each other’s lips. After pulling apart for air, Louis keeps his hand on Harry’s neck, pressing their foreheads together.

“I love you,” Louis beams. “So, so much.”

“I love you, too,” Harry smiles back. “Never stopped."


End file.
